HOW TO SAY ‘NO’

‘Please fill in for me, would you? I want to call in sick’

‘Sure, no problem’

‘Hey, have you completed your project? I’m half way done with mine, could you just complete it for me?’

‘Umm. I’m not totally done with mine, but it’s fine, I would help you with yours’

‘Just help me wash it please. I feel tired’

‘Ok’

‘I need your help. Help me na’

‘I’m sick, but don’t worry, I will do it later’

These are just examples of the conversations we find ourselves in from time to time.

Conversations of people asking for favours. When you are on the other side (the one being asked for the favour), is your response always yes?

Even when it is inconvenient for you? You should learn how to say no when what is being asked of you will inconvenience you.

Mind you, going the extra mile to assist a family, friend, acquaintance or whoever, is not a bad idea.

Once in a while, you should, as they too may be in a position to return that favour one day; and even if they are not, someone else will help you.

Even if you do it without expecting any favour in return, it still speaks good of you. Going the extra mile to help can also be seen as a sign of love.

If all of these are true, why then should I refuse offering help? Quickly, we are going to look at the when, which reflects the why, you should refuse offering help, and how to say no.

Acknowledge abuse.

As the saying goes – ‘too much of everything is bad’. Once you sense that someone is consistently asking you for favours, and most of the time you are inconvenienced by them, you need to consider how much it takes away from you, weigh it with what you get in return. (Is it adding to your growth process as an individual? Are you getting any financial, or any other aspect reward? Is this person worth the time, energy or whatever you lose on that project? Can this person also make such a sacrifice for me when I need it?). Even if these are the only four questions you ask yourself and the answer shows that what the favour takes from you is more than you get in return, summon up the courage to say NO!

Keep your sanity and peace intact. You cannot please everybody. If you overwork yourself, and leave this Earth earlier than you should, you will easily be replaced as soon as possible.